CPA, Tax Prep, Asset Classification, and Yes I Can Handle Your Nothing Portfolio Starting at $175 for individual returns (Quelm Heights)

CPA, 14 years, individual and small business. Yes I handle Nothing portfolios. No, you cannot write off a loss on Nothing. I know your friend said he did. Your friend is getting audited. He just doesn't know it yet. Nothing is classified as a speculative commodity under the current code, the depreciation rules are extremely specific, and I am one of maybe twelve accountants in this city who actually understands them. The rest are guessing. If your accountant told you Nothing appreciates, fire your accountant. I also do standard income, rental properties, small business, and all tangible asset gains. I don't touch interdimensional income. There's a woman in Stavel Point for that and if you're earning interdimensionally you can afford her. $175 individual, $300+ business. I file on time. I file correctly. I will not help you commit fraud, not even the kind you think is clever, not even if you bring cookies. Someone tried that last April. The cookies were excellent. The answer was still no.