posting rules

all postings must comply with Arkness Falls Municipal Code and applicable regional ordinances. the index did not author these ordinances, does not fully understand several of them, and enforces them anyway.

the following are not permitted:

unlicensed containment services
unregistered entity sales or transfers
void-sourced merchandise without chain-of-custody documentation
prophecies presented as guarantees
items under active quarantine, recall, or temporal injunction
listings for locations that have not been verified to exist at the time of posting
items that exist only when observed, unless this is disclosed in the listing title
furniture that the seller "just needs gone." we know what that means. disclose why.
pets that are clearly people
people that are clearly pets
items listed by the item itself without the owner's written consent
breakups disguised as furniture sales. we can tell. we can always tell.
listings written in a tense that has not occurred yet
any product, service, or entity from a recalled timeline
"free" items where the reason they are free would constitute a warning

sellers must provide accurate contact information. responding to a buyer inquiry with a prophecy, a riddle, or "you already know" does not constitute a reply.

the threshold-generated reply address is the only approved method of initial contact. if a listing provides a method of contact that requires a specific emotional state to activate, this must be noted clearly.

listings expire after 90 days. archived listings remain publicly visible but cannot receive replies. if your listing remains visible after 90 days and you did not post it, contact your local compliance office.

photos must depict the actual item being sold. if the item in the photo appears to be looking at the camera, the seller is required to acknowledge this in the description. we will not explain why. it is policy.

do not list the same item more than once. relisting with "slightly different wording" is still relisting. we count.

the index reserves the right to remove any listing at any time for any reason, including but not limited to:

regulatory compliance
public safety
consumer protection
failure to disclose known hazards, curses, or personality
use of a language not currently recognized by the metro area registry
use of a recognized language in a way that suggests the seller is not fluent in the concept of selling
pricing that implies the seller does not understand currency, or is using a currency we cannot verify
photos that do not match the item described
photos that match the item described but the item appears to have moved between photos
photos in which the item is clearly visible but should not be, given the stated dimensions of the room
listing contains an address that, upon verification, leads to a different listing
listing describes an item that, upon inquiry, describes the buyer back
listing generates a sense of obligation in the reader that cannot be attributed to the writing
a general sense of unease among staff
a specific sense of unease among one staff member who has been right about these things before
the listing doing something a listing should not be able to do
the listing not doing anything, but doing it in a way that concerns us
the listing appearing to have been posted before it was written
the listing appearing to have been written by someone who has not been born yet
the listing appearing on pages it was not assigned to
the listing appearing in the dreams of someone who has not visited the site
seller has received more than four complaints this quarter
seller has received more than four complaints this quarter and two of them were from the same person and one was from the item
item has been flagged as "looking at me" by three or more independent users
item has been flagged as "looking at me" by two users and one user who claims the item looked away when they tried to show someone
listing assumes the buyer has a physical form
listing assumes the buyer has a specific number of hands and that number is wrong
listing uses the word "harmless" more than twice
listing uses the word "harmless" once, in quotes
listing contains a liability waiver longer than the listing itself
listing contains a liability waiver that appears to have been drafted by the item
listing is technically a missing persons report
listing is technically a confession
listing is technically a recipe
listing is technically a breakup, and the other party has flagged it
listing is technically a breakup, and the other party has also posted a listing, and both listings are in the same subcategory, and we are not getting involved
the item described does not correspond to any known object, material, or state of matter
the item described corresponds to a known object but is the wrong color and the seller will not explain why
the item was previously listed as "free" and is now listed at a price that suggests it learned its own value
the item was previously listed by a different seller, who claims to have no memory of owning it
the item has been listed, removed, relisted, removed, relisted, and at this point we believe the item is doing it
we have reason to believe the listing is a test, and we did not authorize a test
we have reason to believe the listing is a warning, and we would like to know from whom
we have reason to believe the listing is fine, but we cannot prove it, and the burden of proof is on the listing
the listing makes us feel like we forgot something
the listing makes us feel like we owe someone an apology
the listing makes us feel like we are being perceived
we just think it should come down
we cannot articulate why we think it should come down but we are unanimous
it has been up long enough

questions about these rules should be directed to your local compliance office. we didn't write the rules. we just enforce them. most of the time. when we can find them.